Firefly

"I don't get it," she confessed, as she got out of the shower.

"Get what?"

"You said you hated your job. Why would you go further into the profession?" She had the cutest wrinkle in
her brow as she climbed into bed.

"I like the fat pay check."

"But every time I ask you about work you just scowl and bitch about how much you hate your customers!
And since when did you care about money so much?"

I chuckled to myself. "I haven't complained about work in months. Not since we were official- or not since the first month, at least." I shifted to my side to face her. "Remember when we ran away for Christmas?"

She slid a hand behind my head and grabbed a fistful of hair and gave me a kiss. "How could I not? Best. Three nights. Evuhrr... you could have gotten a motel instead though... "

"Yeah, but their beds wouldn't have been as nice, though," I said as I dived in for a kiss.

"Touché....but what about our little escapade?"

My iPod started playing this song:


"Oh... I love this song..." she started humming along.

"Yeah... it's a good song to dance to. Wanna have a go?"

"Honey.. its fucking three o'clock in the morning... and besides, I'm too worn out for that."

"Haha yeah.. come to think of it, I don't feel like getting out of bed for the next....while- I'm probably going to be really sore at work tomorrow..."

Her face brightened as she came up with an idea. "Well... we could at least cuddle and pretend like we're dancing, can't we?" She slid both her arms around my neck as I draped mine across her waist.

Side note: I remember being amazed at that time how a girl's waist could fit so perfectly around a guy's arm... it was like God made women's torso's for the sole intention of having a man's arm wrapped around it- or maybe God made arms to be wrapped around waists....ANYWAYS....

"You know... I wasted a good chunk of my savings account that weekend..."

"Yeah... I know," she said as she gave me a petty kiss on the cheek. "You maxed out your credit after paying for our room and buying me my jacket- which I still LOVE by the way..."

"So yeah... who cares if I don't like it? If it means I can spoil you whenever I want then so be it."

"What if I get too spoiled?"

"You have more sense than that. And besides, I still remember the look you had when I bought that jacket for you. I've never seen so much guilt and happiness plastered onto anyone's face at the same time like that."

Our faces had gotten so close together that I could feel the heat radiating from her as she blushed. "Dork!"

She punched my chest a few times. Silence. "I want to dance to this song at my wedding...."

"You'd be so beautiful my head would explode."

"Dork." Our foreheads touched and we moved in for another kiss. Kiss. Eskimo kiss. Kiss.

"You know... ever since we came home from Christmas...I've been thinking a lot...."

"Yeah?"

"Well.. it's not that bad, I guess. The money's good and I barely have to take any work home so I don't have to waste too much of my time stressing about it. I just have to put up with people's shit while I'm there."

"But you still have to put up with assholes."

"Yeah... but when I go home and I see your face, I can think to myself....'Worth it.'" Our eyes meet and we smile fondly at another.

"You're too good for me..." She says as she breaks the gaze and looks down.

"What are you talking about? You're the one that took me in." I squeeze her... I'm not sure if it was because I wanted to comfort her or to comfort myself. Maybe a little of both.

"You sure it wasn't the other way around?" she inquired.

"Well.. what's it matter? I think we've straightened out pretty well."

"You've straightened out. What am I supposed to do while you're gone? I can only take care of the house for so long y'know..."

"God I hope you're joking about the house work. I was thinking.. maybe like a part-time job?"

"Doing what? I refuse to be a bag girl or anything like that."

"You have a Bachelor's don't you?"

"Of course! But... I...just don't know..."

"Well... shoot. I'm sorry I made things so complicated for you. I just wanted to make things work out," I said as I brushed my thumb across her cheek.

"I know... I know..."she said as she clasped the hand that was on her face. "It's just... my parents..."

Uh oh.

"They pulled some strings.... and now I'm enrolled in some prestigious school in Korea..."

Silence.

"Well.. do you want to go?"

"Sort of... I'm not sure. But whenever you talk about going to pharmacy school... it makes me want kind of want to get my act together too y'know?"

"Hey... I am far from getting my act together... and besides, it's all thanks to you."

"Well... right back at'cha honey...."

We didn't say anything for a while. We didn't need to. Enjoying each other's warm was enough. But something kept nagging at me....

"So... when are you going to leave?"

She hesitated. "Soon...."

I squeezed her again, still not sure whom I was trying to comfort.

"Hey... you know it's hard for me to say this, but...." I choked.

"I know... 'saranghamnida'...." her tears burned my face, but I still accepted her lips. How could I not?

Memorial Day, 2010 "fucking three o'clock in the morning"
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I had to leave early in the morning to get ready for work. I tried calling during my lunch, but the call went straight to voice mail. I went to visit her after work. After I knocked on the door, her roommate opened and told me that she had left for the airport right around the time that I started work. Soon had never been more of an understatement.

Obviously there was no way that I could reach her with my phone. I tried to message her on Facebook, but she deleted her profile. I tried emailing, but no response. I talked to her roommate but she said she hadn't responded to anything either. She never even sign on to AIM anymore.

I asked my Korean friends what "saranghamnida" meant since I thought "I love you" was "sarang hae". Well... apparently it was a more formal version of that. One even told me that it was used on only two occasions: On your wedding day, and on your death bed.

Well... shit.

But all in all... the way that I could describe our state of minds at our chance meeting was that I was an implosion, while she was an explosion. Somewhere along the way, we balanced each other out and you can call me a hopeless romantic, but I like to think that we mutually meant something to each other, despite her actions. I think that she just needed some alone time to figure herself out more. If we ever meet again when we're full-fledged responsible adults and we were both in the position where it was possible to start off again, I would do it in a heart beat- and even if we never meet again, I'll always remember the life lessons that she taught me.